Nick and I just had our wedding yesterday and it was supposed to be the happiest day ever. But, because of one person, I’ve been quite the upset bride.
I gave the officiant the script of what we wanted at our wedding and she told me she made some minor tweaks. To me, minor tweaks would be no big deal. She emailed me to let me know the night before our morning wedding and didn’t even bother to attach a copy with the changes she made.
Then, she showed up five minutes before the ceremony start time even though I asked her to show up 15 minutes before. She also smelled very strongly of cigarettes. So, we didn’t get a chance to review the ceremony but I put my trust in her that only minor changes were made.
We really wanted our ceremony to be short, sweet, and to the point. This fits us and we just like to be true and not overly fluffy.
The first problem we caught before the ceremony because the officiant asked where the rings are. I told her we weren’t doing that part as we have been wearing our rings since we got engaged. She said she would just skip that part then. But, we didn’t have that in the copy I sent her. Did she think we just forgot the most traditional part of the ceremony?
She let us know right before the wedding that she added a short reading and changed our intro. At that point it was too late to do anything as we were standing ready to get started. She begins the ceremony and I literally hate what she added. The biggest thing that stuck out was that she used the word ‘fool’ in the reading. This is completely inappropriate for a wedding ceremony.
I had in my version that she would ask who gives me away so my dad would be able to answer. She completely took that part out.
She went from her reading to a reading we wanted and changed the intro into that reading. This wouldn’t have been any problem but with all the other problems, it irks me as well.
So we get to the vows. The vows were luckily not changed but she changed our ‘I do’s’ to ‘I will’. This was huge to me. I can’t believe she changed that without discussing it with me. It was very important to me to say ‘I do’. Not to mention that saying ‘I will’ means you will promise in the future where ‘I do: means that you promise now.
So I was already quote irritated at this point and it gets even worse from there. At the end of the ceremony, she said ‘Kari, you may kiss your husband’. Now we all know that it should be ‘Nicholas, you may kiss your bride’. Had I even an inkling that this would be changed I would have demanded to read the ceremony and have everyone wait. I was fuming as I went to kiss my husband. The officiant took away the security, comfort, and protection you feel from that first kiss and instead left me feeling alone, having to do everything on my own.
You’d think everything would be good once the ceremony was over but she told Nick to sign on the wrong line of the marriage license, claiming it was because she wasn’t wearing her glasses. Seriously? You take all five of the main things I wanted away from me and you tell him to sign on the wrong line?
Do on my wedding night, I wasn’t able to sleep, up all night upset. Finally at 3 in the morning I decided to email her and explain my frustration. She said she wanted to make it right by refunding me and coming back out to redo the ceremony for the camera. Well, it’s not easy to completely get ready for a wedding. Plus, family would not be able to all get back in town. And a wedding is a one shot thing. You can’t just redo it.
I have no idea how long it will take me to get over this but she completely ruined my wedding day for me. And so far, the rest of the weekend too.
That sounds like a nightmare! I’m so sorry she ruined your special day!!! I hope after the ceremony you got to enjoy some quality time with your husband and family and friends! I know it won’t change what happened at the ceremony but at least you would have created some lovely memories of the day x
Oh my word, I couldn’t even imagine! A wedding, especially what is said in the ceremony is such a precious memorable thing. I am so sorry your officiant did that to you! May your marriage be so much sweeter than your wedding, ❤
I would be livid! For her to say she would redo it for the camera, it shouldn’t need to be redone that’s such a big moment and precious memory to have. I can’t believe she thought it was okay to not run those changes by you. I hope your week gets better!
Holy crap! I would be so PO’d! I’d definitely review her on any place she’s listed. I mean, you wouldn’t want any other bride to have that experience. My mom is a wedding officiant and this is a disgrace to the whole profession.
Reviewed on Thumbtack and Facebook. I chose her because she had 15 five star reviews and 1 four star review.
Omg! I am so sorry you experienced this. I would have clocked her! Even more so after stating she would redo for the camera. As you said its a once in a lifetime day that you will remember for ever. On the plus side, you got to marry to man of your dreams and you’ll have the rest of your life together in love. Congratulations!
Oh my! So sorry this happened to you. I got married a few weeks ago and I would have been livid. Being the strong personality type I am, I would have probably stopped the wedding to make her perform the ceremony the way we discussed. That probably wouldn’t have made the situation any better, but at least maybe a shot.
Oh my! So sorry that this happened to you! I can’t even imagine what I would have done if that happened at my wedding! I hope you at least got to make some happy memories with your friends, family and husband afterwards!
That sounds awful- I can’t believe she didn’t run any of her changes by you! You have every right to be irritated, I’m irritated for you! But I hope the rest of your special day went amazing, so that you have so many happy moments to remember!
I’d demand a refund PLUS fees for aggrivation and distress. I smell a lawsuit! Was she high! WTF! Not only was that unprofessional it was borderline destructive. If you know a free attorney have them draft a letter. I’d lastly ask her for a written apology to be published for your guests to see (you can edit this of course!!!) That’s B.S. Can not wait for the folow up post to this woman’s malice!!
Thanks but I think it’s best for me to just try to let it go. I did ask for my money back. We will see if I get it.
Ugh!! I can’t believe you had to deal with this on your special day!!! How unprofessional!! I hope the rest of your day went seamlessly and on a happier note, congratulations!
Oh my gosh I can’t believe this happened to you! That is so upsetting that she would act like that. I hope everything else on your big day worked out as planned.